What do you like in an anime couple?

Credit to linked pixiv user

In a post on the blog Shojo Corner, author starsamaria discusses what qualities the best anime and manga couples possess. Like many other things in the fandom, what makes an anime couple good to one fan could be quite the contrary to another, so it was interesting to read the points she brought up and think about my own criteria for a good anime couple. I’m sure there are some who care little about romance in anime, but I for one am quite the sucker for a good couple, whether it’s a big part of the overall story or not…

*Just to note, for some of the couples I use in my examples, there’s still debate over whether they’re really “official” couples in the canon material or not. But as far as I know, none of these couples have been officially ruled out either, so I’m describing them here to show why I like them*

Interesting/likable characters: This was the first point starsamaria brought up in her post and I completely agree. In order for me to like a couple in anime, I have to first like the two characters involved and find them, well, interesting. The best couples to me are the ones where I like both characters individually as well as together. There has to be something memorable about their personalities and the way they relate to each other. Even if they’re very nice people and their relationship is very sweet and loving, that’s not enough if they’re dull and utterly archetypical as characters. To give examples, I’ve always liked Lelouch and C.C. from Code Geass as a couple. Why? Well, I’m sure most people who’ve seen the show can agree that they’re quite dynamic and unforgettable characters with interesting personalities and histories. There’s ambivalence between them as well as trust, with the occasional banter, and I find it all very interesting. Nothing bland about them individually or how they relate to each other. On the flip side, the relationship between Sawako and Kazehaya in Kimi no Todoke, while cute and fluffy, doesn’t stand out in any way to me nor are either of them particularly interesting characters. For most of the series they’re insufferable polite to each other or insufferably flustered in each other’s presence, and individually their characters are fleshed out very little beyond the typical shojo romance.

Complementing traits: One thing I really love in an anime couple is when the two characters complement each other – they each bring out the good (or the bad sometimes) in each other and the strengths of one complements the flaws of the other. This is why I tend to like couples who exemplify “opposites attract” and are often “tsundere” towards each other, bickering or denying their feelings because it takes time for them to come to grips with the fact that their partner brings out traits and emotions in them that they never knew they had. It’s much more interesting to me than a couple who are both nice or both jerks or both shy and so on. One of my most favorite couples, Inuyasha and Kagome from the long-running series Inuyasha, are a good example of this. Being a half-demon with a rather tragic past, Inuaysha is quite the insensitive, violent, and ruthless jerk at the beginning of the series, but still has a small amount of decency deep within. Spending time with Kagome over the course of the show completely turns his good side into his dominant side, making him much more selfless and righteous while still retaining his tough attitude, but for admirable reasons. Likewise, Kagome seems like a bland protagonist at the beginning of the series, but once she’s smitten with feelings for Inuyasha, we see all manner of jealousy and doubt overcome her, as well as the inner strength she needs to stay by Inuyasha’s side. The two of them bring out bad and good in each other while also bringing out strengths in each other they would not have had otherwise.

Relationship leads to character growth: This one is sort of a middle ground between the point I just mentioned about complementing traits and the one that I’ll discuss below. It basically means that the relationship the couple forms leads to character development for both. Again, going back to my first point of each of the characters being interesting; interesting characters are the ones that have flaws and have both good and bad sides to them, and it feels all the more rewarding when the one that they fall for helps them overcome the bad and emphasize the good. If one or both characters is already “perfect,” or either of them has too much of a one-dimensional personality, then there’s little or no character growth to be had. Inuyasha and Kagome are also a fine example of this, but to give another, I liked the romance in the recently aired Chuunibyou because it emphasized how both characters – Rikka in particular – changed for the better because of their relationship, overcoming her chuunibyou and the emotional turmoil it was masking. Likewise, Yuuta learned that his past chuunibyou-ridden self wasn’t something he should totally hide away because it actually helped someone and allowed him to find friendship and love. One of the reasons I like Haruhi and Kyon as a couple is because their complementing traits also lead to growth; Haruhi is quite tyrannical and interested in anything but normalcy at first, but her relationship with Kyon makes her much nicer (seen more in novel-only stories unfortunately) and open to enjoying normal activities. And likewise Kyon, who was very apathetic and utterly “normal” at the beginning, learns to enjoy the very abnormal things he had rejected long ago and become active in defending his new status quo. Shana and Yuuji from Shakugan no Shana are another couple I like who bring out great character development for each other, with Shana turning from a cold, uncaring tsundere in season 1 to an honorable, good-natured fighter in season 3 with practically no traces of negative “tsun” left. And Yuuji goes from a rather bland everyman to making incredible sacrifices and life-changing decisions in season 3 because of his feelings for Shana.

Understanding the why: I would say this is the most important point of them all. In order for me to really get into an anime couple and truly care about their relationship, I have to know why they should get together – how did they come to love each other and what is it that makes them fitting together? This of course means that the series does a good job of showing us how they first met and all the conflict and emotion that leads up to them eventually falling in love. This is why I can’t really get into “love at first sight” stories. The whole joy of romance for me is seeing how the love comes about and how both characters are changed by it. If they’re already in love from the get-go, then that thrill is gone. There could still be suspense in the story, for example, if they’re in love and something is keeping them apart, but it’s not the same unless we come to understand why their love is so strong. Toradora! does a fine job showing how our two protagonists go from basically awkward strangers to acquaintances trying to do each favors, then to friends, then to something more than friends, then to second-guessing lovers in denial, until finally they realize how they truly feel towards each other. And all the while I can understand how their relationship changes and why they’re meant for each other. For a contrasting example, if any of you are familiar with the old anime/manga shojo series Fushigi Yuugi, the main couple fall in love relatively early in the story, and as much as I can recall, the series never really delves into why they make a good match, i.e,. how they overcome personal flaws or are changed for the better because of their relationship. The romance theme in the story comes from the fact that they fall in love early on and throughout the story, conflicts arise to break them apart and challenge their loyalty to each other. This scenario could be a perfectly good story too, but typically I prefer the romance stories that focus on how the love starts and comes about.

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There may be a few cases where I like a couple that posses little or none of these qualities, for example, if they’re just irresistibly adorable or if the writing of the show is exceptionally good. But usually these are the things that make a romance in anime memorable and get me really into a couple. What things to you like to see in your anime couples? =)

No Comments… read them or add your own.

  1. Cytrus says:

    All good points (and some great couples). Lovebirds balancing out each other’s strengths and weaknesses is great, making each other develop in a positive direction is even better. I also like it when one or both parties feel a conscious need to improve themselves to become more worthy of their better, like Taichi –> Chihaya from Chihayafuru. (When this goes too far, the other other party can smack some sense into the overly modest one, a la Shana and Yuuji, which is doubly cute.)

    Other than that, I like it when the two involved:

    1) have their own little world/thing/hobby that connects them: shogi for Shion x Ayumi in Shion no Ou, basketball for Tomoka x Subaru in Ro-Kyu-Bu! etc. But also extreme examples like Bern x Lambda of Higurashi/Umineko fame, who are the only two known beings to have escaped logic error prisons with their own strength, and so the only two who can understand the world-changing trauma connected with the experience.

    2) are stuck together for a long time long before anything romantic happens: osananajimi and the like apply, but also masters and their retainers etc. This means that that they know a lot about each other, including the bad and annoying parts, before getting into a romance.

    • Yumeka says:

      Glad you agree with the examples I brought up ^_^ As for your two points, I can’t say I’m familiar with any couples that are like your #1 example since I haven’t seen many anime that revolve around games and such (but I have seen Higuarashi and Umineko…but I don’t remember who those two characters are….it’s been a long time XD)

      And for your #2 point, it seems like childhood friends rarely get the guy/girl in the end, doesn’t it? I’m sure there are some where that’s not the case but I always think of the childhood friend in anime suffering from unrequited love.

      • Cytrus says:

        Higurashi and Umineko was all a lover’s quarrel between Bernkastel and Lambdadelta, you know xD. Those two great tales were but two kakera/fragments of the endless journey of the two. Now that’s an epic love story.

        • Yumeka says:

          I remember Umineko being about Battler and Beatrice matching wits and stuff…I only vaguely remember those two you mentioned XD And I don’t even remember them from Higurashi…LOL, I guess a rewatch is in order one of these days.

  2. Frootytooty says:

    Definitely agree with you here, especially the first point. I’ve probably ranted enough about Kimi ni Todoke already so I won’t again, lol.

    I’m a yaoi fan so it’s got to be a REALLY good het couple to get me to like them. XD You’ve named a few that I like (Inuyasha/Kagome for one); some others include Alto/Sheryl (Macross Frontier), Sougo/Kagura (Gintama) and Lina/Gourry (Slayers). Pretty much all of these girls are strong, can stand up for herself and who, more often than not, is even stronger than the guy in various aspects. Equality in a relationship is my favorite theme by far!

    • Yumeka says:

      One of the points in the original article was in fact about equality, which I agree with but didn’t feel the need to bring up since it sort of goes along with the characters being interesting/likable. If one of them is a complete jerk or one is way too submissive or something like that, then they’re already not likable to me…unless they change for the better later in the story of course.

      Lina and Gourry were one of the first couples I liked :3

  3. Kal says:

    I like the reasoning, And I agree with your first 2 points. Complementing characters go really well together. I love the socially awkward, coupled with the down-to-earth characters. They are so different and conflicting, but really need each other to see a different part of the world (Chidori x Sousuke, Full metal panic). I personally went through something similar in real life (not to any anime extreme, of course), so I can somewhat relate. I’m a sucker for those. They are usually interesting as well individually, so that’s also a plus.

    I disagree a little with the 3rd point. While building up to the romance is always important, and there are very few anime that do not build it up, I have no problem with a pre-established crush, or couple. Io and Tsumiki for example. We know there is something there, but we have no idea where it came from, but it’s still great :P It’s hard to think up examples for this, it is not incredibly common, but if they feel good together, I have no problem with it at all, and just roll with it.

    • Yumeka says:

      I also have a handful of couples I like whose relationship doesn’t change or build up to anything, like Io and Tsumiki, and also Hayate and Nagi to an extent. But usually the most memorable ones are the ones that are dynamic and showcase a well written romance. The cute ones like Io and Tsumiki are just for funs XD

  4. CoolCARTGuy says:

    Those are some wonderful points I cannot really dispute.

    When it comes to romances, the kind that result in character development are among my favorites; a good example of this is Yukino and Arima from Kare Kano – both characters have a hidden but deeply-rooted personality flaws and Yukino is even jealous of Arima in the first episode for being more popular than her, but they both face their problems as their relationship progresses and it is very interesting to watch as these two characters change and draw closer to one another. The emotional realism of this romance is a big reason why I still hold Kare Kano to be my favorite romance anime.

    • Yumeka says:

      I was totally blown away by the first few episodes of Kare Kano and how it dealt with Yukino and Arima’s relationship. I certainly agree with what you say about it =) Even though I haven’t watched Kare Kano in years I remember how brilliant I thought their relationship was and I still remember that feeling all this time later…that means they definitely are a good couple =D

  5. Nopy says:

    I’ve never really thought about what I like in my couples. My favourite couples are: Ryuji x Taiga (Toradora), Sakura x Shaoran (Card Captor Sakura), and that’s pretty much it. A lot of times series end shortly after characters hook up so I get to know and like individual characters but don’t get enough time to evaluate them as a couple.

    • Yumeka says:

      That’s a good point and one that was brought up in the original post – the fact that we don’t usually get to see what becomes of the two characters after they become an “official” couple since that typically happens at the end of a series. But I guess what most of us enjoy is imagining them as a couple before it happens, piecing together all the evidence for it and waiting in suspense for it to actually become official. And even if it doesn’t become official in the end, if it’s left open to interpretation we can still continue to imagine it =P

      • Cirris says:

        This is why enjoyed first arc of Sword Art Online, and Ano Natsu de Matteru more i probably should have. Cause the story didn’t just stop at the first kiss. I think often in anime romance stories the focus is so much about the awkward getting together moments and not about the true romance which starts when a couple start dating.

        I often give an anime credit when they deviate from the Disney “happily ever after” fairy tale script.

  6. Shikon says:

    I definitely agree with your first two points, especially with Lelouch and C.C. Like you, I’ve always enjoyed anime couples that were both dynamic and different in they’re own ways, even if they’re differences put them at odds at times. I also like how you used Kagome and Inuyasha as an example, they are both among my favorite couples, Inuyasha may be a bit dense at times but they do both eventually realize they’re feelings for one another. To sum it up, I like an anime couple that are in touch with they’re own feelings (unlike so many thick-headed male protagonists that you see, I mean really can they not take a hint? lol).

    • Yumeka says:

      Some people seem to prefer Lelouch x Kallen rather than Lelouch x C.C. Not sure why…the bond Lelouch and C.C. have just seems more “special” to me XD

      Talking about what a great couple Inuyasha and Kagome are makes me want to rewatch the series again, LOL.

      • Shikon says:

        Yeah I agree, besides C.C. was there first anyway =P and its never wrong to rewatch Inuyasha, I cant count how many times I’ve rewatched it myself, its a amazing series in my opinion.

  7. Yuriko says:

    Glad to hear Haruhi-chan changed a little. I always saw her as an tyrannical character and it annoyed me a little. Hope Kyo Ani will animate the rest of novels so I could find out how she act.
    As for couples I think that point ”Relationship leads to character growth” is most important to me. If characters work good as a pair they must influence each other, cause without that their existence as a pair is tangential.

  8. Highway says:

    I love romance anime, and think you hit on a lot of the great points why the best romantic couples are almost universal.

    As for my preference in romance animes, I actually prefer when the couples get together sooner, rather than later. I’d rather see a couple grow as a pair than have to grow to get together. Two from the last year I really liked were Urabe and Tsubaki from Nazo no Kanojo X, and Mei and Yamato from Sukitte ii na yo. in both shows, they got together quickly, and then were able to weather problems and become a closer couple, as well as learning about each other and about how to love another person.

  9. Kai says:

    In my opinion, sometimes, opposition creates the best chemistry and I think likeable anime couples play in this theory of mine. Ryuji X Taiga of Toradora, is definitely one of my favorite couples as well, one thing is that they are very different from each other, yet one can easily draw parallels to how similar they are. That difference they had with each other complemented with each other, I guess this is one reason why I like Ryuji X Taiga so much.

  10. starsamaria says:

    I very rarely get attached to couples where one character has a crush prior to the start of the series – such romances tend to feel flat. I like that you used Fushigi Yugi as an example – back in the day it was considered one of the most romantic anime ever, but if you stop and think about nothing was ever shown in the series to explain why Tamahome was better for Miaka than Hotohori or why they even liked each other in the first place. And I’m glad to hear other reasons why people get attached to their favorite anime pairings – I think one you mentioned that isn’t on my list that I really agree with is for the characters to compliment one another. I too tend to like couples with opposing (or similar yet still contrasting) personalities because they tend to bring out the best in one another and having such personality types lends to character growth, another important element in falling for a couple.

  11. William in DC says:

    Fun and relatable. You want them on the screen, or you realistically think they could be you. IsaacMiraa in Baccano? They own every scene. OkabeKirisugu? That’s how people develop feelings in real life.

  12. Nuu says:

    This is just me so keep in mind I’m weird and your post is still very good, but inyu yasha gets on my f***ing nerves. I can’t go on about that or I’ll break the comment box. Anyways, Im TERRIBLE with names, but I sincerely thought Akira & what’s-her-name from Eden of the East was easily one of the best couples I’ve seen. And on the twisted-omfg-I-can’t-look-away side is Yuuki & Yuno. They had this thing….that was more than a “thing.” the ending is definitely debatable, but even so it was a roller coaster.

  13. Tiffany says:

    What do I like in a pairing of anime/manga:

    1. How the way they treat each other
    I mostly like a couple if the two of them can treat each other very well, instead of being so abusive or mean towards each other.
    For example: Mao and Meili from Cooking Master Boy (Chuuka Ichiban)
    Though they are not a couple yet but I wanted to see them as a couple. I always like on Meili being helpful and supportive towards Mao even though she is not a good cook like Mao. Meili always helps Mao to do some of his cookings or finding the ingredients for Mao, and when Mao was almost defeated in the cooking match she gives Mao an encouragement to do his best. I also like on how the way Mao is always being so kind to Meili and never looked down on her even though she is not really a good cook like him. Meili’s charcater development in the manga is also quite good because she can be finally useful for Mao when she cooked the Mapo tofu to help the Mapo Tofu restaurant owners to rekindle their relationship.

    2. How the relationship grow
    I like to see on how the relationship between them grow, because I can see clearly on how the way they fall in love with each other and the reason of it.
    For example: Syaoran and Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura
    I walks like on how their relationship grows graudually from being rivals for clow cards, to friends, and finally they fell in love with each other. Syaoran always helps Sakura to capture the cards and Sakura also always being so grateful to Syaoran for helping her. I also like on how the way Sakura treats Syaoran, she always being so friendly and sweet to Syaoran even though Syaoran always being so mean to her. And I like their relationship even more when Syaoran shows more of his gentle side towards Sakura, especially when Syaoran fell in love with her.

    3. How their personality compliment with each other.
    I always like a couple if their personality can compliment each other quite well, even if they are the polar opposites.
    For example: Sana and Akito from Kodocha, Mukan and Natsume from Gakuen Alice
    Even though Sana and Akito are the polar opposites, but these two go along quite well with each other especially when Sana and Akito are getting closer with each other. Mikan and Natsume are also like that, even though they are the polar opposites but I quite like on how the way they care for other.

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