Guess you’d only know the significance of this picture if you watch Durarara!!
I’m sure many of us have thought about this before…
I’ve always been better at expressing myself through writing than speaking. I know for many people it’s the opposite, or at least there’s no big difference between the two. But for me, writing allows me to take my time with a thought I have and express it in the best way I can. Whether it’s e-mail, a blog post, or a forum comment, I can reread it over again to make sure I’m saying exactly what I mean and am not leaving anything out. Only when it sounds as eloquent as possible will I make it public. This is contrary to speaking, where I have to think of what to say on the spot, and should I have to repeatedly stutter and correct myself (which I often do) I start to sound pretty unintelligible. It doesn’t help that I’m shy and soft-spoken to begin with, and even when I’m with groups of anime fans, my voice often gets lost amongst the more adamant and opinionated fans. And whenever I have a (verbal) conversation with someone, I almost always end up second guessing myself afterward with thoughts like “I forgot to say this” or “I should have said it this way.” I rarely have that problem with writing because I can reread what I’m saying again and thus easily pick up on things I left out or could have said better.
This difference in my feelings towards writing vs speaking is one of the main reasons why I feel comfortable being a part of online communities (while I feel awkward in large groups of real people). I’m sure many of us have constructed a number of online identities over the years – our blogs or web sites, Live Journal, Twitter, myspace, Facebook, YouTube, IRC, various forums, etc. Often we try to bring some kind of unity between these, for example, using the same user name and style of writing on all of them. Then, putting them all together, we’ve constructed quite an elaborate image of ourselves for all of the online world to know. These sites allow us to publicly offer as much or as little about ourselves as we like. Whether we want to pour out our deepest thoughts and feelings in elegant, extensive prose about certain topics, or whether we just want to list our interests and daily activities, online identities have the amazing ability to allow us to stretch the limits of being ourselves, expressing all we want, while simultaneously allowing us to be anonymous – we could go on for years pouring out our most personal thoughts about anime or other things online, acquiring many online friends who know all about our tastes and opinions down to the finest detail, but may never know the basics like our real name, age, appearance, country of residence, or even gender.
By visiting a single web site, someone could know almost everything there is to know about us, from our deepest thoughts, passions, and morals to even basic personal information should we choose to divulge it. So how does this compare to our real selves? When someone meets us in real life, they can see some of the basics like our age, gender, etc., but all of the views and passions we so fervently convey online are hidden to the public in real life. The only way we can easily make them known is through speaking, but it could take much time and effort to convey it as well as many of us do online, especially if you’re like me and am not very articulate. Often times I feel that people I meet (who are not into anime themselves of course) may develop a rather distorted view of me, since my interests and life style are not typical and I’m unable to express all that I mean as well as I can through writing. I almost feel like saying, “Visit my blog, web site, or Twitter to find out who I really am.”
Not everyone who spends time expressing themselves online develops an elaborate online presence. But those who have blogs, run web sites, or are constantly discussing on IRC and forums, often do. I’ve heard it said that you can’t know someone unless you meet them in real life. I would argue that you can know someone quite well through the Internet if they have a large enough online presence – pouring out their deepest feelings and opinions on a blog, tweets on Twitter, daily activities on Live Journal, links and status on Facebook – all of these things put together can tell you quite a lot about a person. Of course, there may be some people who act one way online and another way in real life. But I think the majority of people who have an active online presence offer a good indication of who they really are. I personally try my best to make sure there are as few inconsistencies as possible between my real and online self (the only one I can pinpoint is that I’m less expressive in real life than online).
However, when I say you can know someone well through the Internet only, that doesn’t mean you know the whole person. Things like personality, vibes, expressions, tone of voice, physical presence, subtle quirks, hang-ups, or peeves, how comfortable you feel being with them – I don’t think these things can be fully conveyed online and can only come out by interacting with the person in real life. As complex and complete as we can make our online selves to be, I feel that the fundamental feeling of having a real human presence with you still cannot be replaced by the Internet.
hence why I choose writing as my career.
@ kluxorious
Every now and then I feel like I want to pursue a writing career, or at least create a best selling novel that brings me some nice earnings. I have story ideas, it’s just a matter of taking the time to plan it all out and actually write it. One of these days…
No better time than the present! The Great American (Light) Novel!
I feel like you’re the same person in real life that you are online. Certainly, maybe in real life you wouldn’t wax poetic about Pokemon rather than just saying “I like it,” but… it’s hard to say, exactly. A feeling? Maybe I’m just filling in the gaps because I know you on both sides.
Lately I’m noticing that it’s hard to distinguish which persona is the truer one, especially since I started aniblogging right when I left for Japan. An anecdote: When I was visiting —– (our mutual friend, the very tall one with green eyes who likes Higurashi) in Osaka, we were sharing a plate at a pizza place, and there were two slices left. I took the smaller, more mangled-looking piece and pushed the other one to him. He chuckled and said, “I knew it. That’s so you.” Really? I never thought of my personality in those terms. Since he keeps up with my blog, I can’t help but think that maybe that’s a bit of 2DT coming out.
But now I’m making it sound like Jekyll and Hyde, so I’ll stop there. :)
@ 2DT
Even before I got into blogging, I’ve been writing constantly since my freshman year of high school, mostly through my web site and occasional other pieces. Only problem is I’ve mostly been writing in academic/essay style and haven’t written in creative writing style for nearly seven years. I wonder if it’s hard to go back.
Glad to know you think I’m the same person on both sides ^^ I guess the reason I don’t “wax poetic” about things I like is because I’m soft-spoken and don’t like imposing my interests on others. The reason I can passionately talk about my interests online is because I’m saying it to whoever wants to listen and not to anyone specific.
I also think you’re pretty much the same person. I wouldn’t read much into that anecdote, it’s just you being a considerate guy, which you are on both sides =)
I do things the opposite way… using my real name in my blog and in most of the anime blogosphere, while keeping my fandom name secret. ;)
I would say you’re the same person in person as online, with the exception of what you’ve already noted about yourself: you have the time and the deliberation to show even more of your intellectual depth in your writing. It’s like the old saying, ‘still waters run deep’ – you’ve got a lot to say, but that’s not always apparent from your in-person quiet personality. I think that’s actually true of all of us who call ourselves writers. ;)
@2DT: Your anecdote reminds me of another old saying: “Mothers eat the burnt one.” ;-)
@ Jan
Then I guess only people who visit you on MAL or LJ would know your username =)
I wonder if my personality could also be attributed to my sign, Pisces. Supposedly they keep their emotions bottled up inside, but their feelings definitely run deep and they’re sensitive about things even if they don’t show it.
I hated Lain but I liked the idea behind it regarding an online and offline personality. I would say that I do have two sides to me. I would rather say that some of the posts and things I write on my aniblog are more like a character or role I get into and not associate them entirely with who I am outside.
I guess I just need to learn to accept that who I am online is a part of who I am offline, and not two separate entities.